nine out of ten dentists recommend Colgate. the last one won’t stop recommending “the flesh of the innocent” and “thousands and thousands of skulls, staring, judging” and quite frankly we aren’t sure if he’s a real dentist or not

Every time a woman claims “I don’t really like other women, women are crazy!” antiquated gender roles gain +2 HP and every woman in the world simultaneously stubs her toe, that small, sharp jolt of pain representing the tiny death that their soul experiences as they are betrayed. 

If Cheryl is acting like a psychopath, that’s because CHERYL IS A PSYCHOPATH, not because she is a woman. People are individuals, comrades, and should be treated as such.


Ethiopian Welo Opal New gem found looks like the ocean in rock

filed under: #eek!   #so cool   #rocks   #rock   #opal   #pretty   


Thank you, college bathroom graffiti.

filed under: #what   #grafitti   

This is a picture of my dog with a frog on his head. Both of them seem to be largely unfazed.

filed under: #doge with a froge   #Dog   #Frog   #Animals   


If you want to sound like a Dad on the internet just end your sentences with two period ellipses.. I don’t know why it works but it does.. Just thought you’d like to know this.. Love you..


if science doesn’t make you want to write poetry you’re doing it wrong

filed under: #Ahhh so charming   #Emma Watson   


This is my little baby cousin and he is dressed as a smoke detector for Halloween

None of us know why but he is really obsessed with smoke detectors

That’s all he’s asked for in the way of presents these past two years

He calls them “snoke edectors”

Also he has a scrapbook of everyone in the family posing with their smoke detectors

the end



what a great nap, i feel totally disoriented and i’m frothing with hate 

Every time.